The 10 worst places I have ever been to

London, UK

I was going to make a list of the 10 best places I’ve been to but that would have been boring and people may suspect I’m in the pay of some foreign tourism ministries. This list isn’t just of cities but places in cities where I’ve had a bad experience, met some absolute wankers and or the place was just shit. Add your comments about this blog or some places you’d like to nominate and I’ll publish them later on.

1. Hannover, Germany – renewing residence permits at the AuslandersAmt
Having to go to the immigration office in Hannover has to be one of the most depressing things I’ve ever had to do. Everyone is in a bad mood there, the people handling your paperwork are the coldest individuals I’ve ever come across and the police dragging foreigners in they’ve arrested look down right evil. Even if you do get your visa you feel like hanging yourself when you’re done there. Hannover is a hole and I wish they’d evacuate the residence to somewhere less shit on humanitarian grounds.

2. Canberra, Australia – cold, boring, just plain shit
I feel bad for all the Australian tax payers that paid for this place. I was actually warned off going to Canberra for a day by the people at the hostel but I was desperate to see as much as I could in the short time I had there. Quite a shocker really...

3. London, UK
I love London and I wish everyone who isn’t a permanent resident here would leave so we could enjoy it here more. My company recently moved from the Strand to East London and it was like a significant spiritual journey (clean streets, no tourists, more modern buildings).

4. Paris, France – being robbed and no one is interested in my version of the French language
First thing I noticed is that no one in the services industry that I came across in Paris is interested in hearing my version of the French language. I did have some brilliant parties there but being robbed by a 300 lbs woman while I was sleeping really pissed me off.

5. Flensburg, Germany – being told to leave Germany
If you ever want to work in Germany and you’re not from the EU, make sure you get a residence permit before getting a work permit. I did it the other way around and the nice chap at the Arbeitsamt told me to leave the country.

6. Calgary, Canada – being unemployed is not like being on holiday
I grew up in Calgary and I do enjoy being there but once I moved back from the UK to Calgary and spent a few weeks unemployed. These were some of the longest weeks of my life and I’m glad they are over. Once I found gainful employment though I did enjoy the rest of the summer.

7. Singapore – being questioned at gun point in the airport
I had just walked off a flight and played on the internet for a few minutes when I was approached by armed soldiers demanding my passport. I guess this is how they keep people from spitting on the street and forgetting to flush the bog.

8. Barcelona, Spain – being robbed for the first time
Barcelona is a really fun and exciting place to be, it’s a shame the town is full of thieves. I got into a fist fight with a pickpocket within 90 minutes of landing. I guess that’s better than one of my room mates who had his entire backpack stolen before he even got into the hostel.

9. Tehran, Iran
Actually, I’ve never been here but it’s crazy how many people think I have been after I wrote this blog entry.

10. Lanzarote, Spain – repeditive food, too many chavs
It is a nice and relaxing place to be but my hotel was infested with chavs and doubled as an outpost for council flat residents from Britain. The food is a bit repeditive and you’ll stick like garlic for weeks after you return from lanza-chav-arote.

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