Day 3 in London

London, UK

28th September 2001

Day 3: London:

Street signs have less meaning in life than a customer care representative at a doomed ISP. There are phone sex ads in all the phone booths, someone went around and took them out this morning but they were back up by 1 pm. Nobody moves out of your way when you walk down the street. Every Caucasian English girl looks like one of the S-Club 7. There are people that look like rapper DMX and sound like Austin Powers. Afghani's run the local fish `n chips shop's. Everything costs 2.3x more than it does in Canada. Drum `n Bass and English Gangsta Rap can be heard throughout McDonalds at 7 am in the morning. Every Australian you meet will be from Perth and will give you shit for never visiting Perth.

This has to be the most unique place in the world, I haven't seen or heard anything from the USA in 3 Days!!! When I landed at London Heathrow I saw something I would never seen anywhere else, a Kuwait Airlines 747 Jumbo Jet. Walking down the street I saw something that could never exist anywhere else in the western world, an Iraqi Restaurant.

This morning I went to McDonalds for breakfast. I sat down with my food and got a newspaper. On the cover was some half naked woman sharing the cover with a story about a scandal in Wessex. I turned to the page and the entire 3rd page was a topless woman. Calgary Sun's sunshine girl would have a hard time competing with that.

After that I went to go visit Buckingham Palace and something dawned on me, I thought British Police we unarmed, they just beat the snot out of people with Billy clubs. Tell that to the Armed Police Officers at Heathrow walking around with Shotguns and MP-5's. As well, the Guards at Buckingham Palace, the one's with the big hat's that look like Marge Simpson's hair, were carrying M-16's.

Luckily for me the Opium smoking, crack snorting flatmates that graced me with their presence left after the first night. I have the cheapest room in London because I have to share it with 7 other people but no one else is staying there right now. It's nice to have my own massive room for only £12 a night in the heart of Westminster. Tomorrow I'm off to Exeter. I hope everything works out.

One tip if you every come to London, don't convert prices back to your native currency. I can guarantee you that anything you buy is the same price it is back home multiplied by the pounds currency vs. yours. For example, I'm from Canada so everything costs 2.3x what it would back home.